Good enough.

Made it through Christmas. Even the Emery family Christmas Eve tradition of sharing what we are grateful for this year. Always emotional because let's face it, we're a bunch of babies anyway. This year was especially tough. Not tough to find things to be thankful for but but because there is still so much even with our current trial. Boobfest 2012.

I made it through my first Christmas Eve/morning in 14 years without my kiddos. *phewf* Finished the home-crafted gifts by the skin of my teeth (No, really. I was actually walking out the door and getting them done)

There were no ER or doctor visits. No car accidents despite driving in the crazy snow. We got to spend time with a lot of family. Many that we don't see too often. :)No tears or terribly disappointed kids. Some were actually REALLY excited. *win*

Justin Bieber!!!!

Drew Brees!

I won't count it as a total success considering my neighbor gifts are still sitting at my house (early start for next year, right?) which isn't spotless. But it was good enough. 

I'm learning that Good enough is good enough. Perfect is impossible.

Sleepless in South Jordan

Ever wake up and can't fall back to sleep because your brain won't be quiet?
The question is: At 3:50am do I get up and get some stuff done? Or try to force myself back to sleep??

Gratitude and Hope

Just over 2 months ago I was sitting at work with a trainee when I got a scary text: "Please pray for Mike, we just got some devastating news". Within a half hour I found out that he had a tumor on his brain, spoke to my bosses and they not only let me leave but had someone take one of their cars and drive me to the hospital.

He stayed there that night and had surgery in the morning. They removed the tumor successfully and were optimistic about the result and future. Two weeks after that they did a full body MRI and found that he already had spots of the melanoma in his lungs that were inoperable and gave him 10-12 months to live.

I can't begin to explain the emotions that I have experienced since hearing that news. I don't even understand them myself.

Me and Mike doing yoga on the beach. :)

But I can tell you this: At this moment, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and hope. I have seen an amazing outpouring of love and support for my brother and his family. Even for me.

This year my department was given the opportunity as part of the Christmas celebrations to choose a charity to contribute to. Without hesitation or even asking me, my boss submitted my brother's family as the one they would like to help. They decided to do a bake sale and then angel tree for his family.

Human Race on Thanksgiving 2012

I can not believe the amount of love and generosity I have seen. I thought that an unadvertised bake sale would bring in about $500 if we were lucky. But people in this company contributed $2000. I was blown away. The angel tree was also an amazing success. I was able to go be there when they delivered all of the items collected for Mike and his family and I can't tell you how much this means to them. They were overcome with gratitude.

I'm thankful to work with/for amazing people who are willing to sacrifice and give and help. Who genuinely care about others.

At Mike's USC graduation luncheon.

 I have also seen countless people outside of my company come forward and help out my brother's family in any way they are able. I am in awe and humbled by the generosity as I know Mike and Siegred are. It's good to see that this world is full of giving, caring, loving, selfless people. It gives me hope. 

If you or know someone else who would be interested contributing to Mike's family or reading a better version of the situation visit: www.giveforeward.com/rallyformike And thank you in advance!!

My life is GOOD! (said in my best Nacho Libre accent)

So... I think my post yesterday came across more sad than funny which isn't what I intended..

I have been beyond extremely emotional for the past couple of months and yesterday morning I thought good grief! Look at all the little things I'm crying about!

But just so we're all clear, I have a REALLY GOOD life.

I have a sweet husband who loves and takes care of me.

A nice house that fits my family.

The most wonderful GOOD kids!

Parents and siblings who love me and always have my back.

My health! 

Amazing friends who support, listen, love and cry with me.

I have a great job.
Work for a wonderful company and people  who know me  individually.
I have great benefits and compensation.
 Just the best company EVER. Really.

Am I overwhelmed with all that is on my plate? Yes. Sometimes more than others. Do I have a great life filled with great things? Definitely. This blog is intended to be a release for me, to share the craziness, humor, sadness, frustration, joy and fun that are my OVERWHELMED life. :)

Why Cry??

I am generally a crier anyway. Have been my whole life (at least as long as I can remember). I'm pretty sure it's in my blood since most of my siblings have the same...tendency. But today as an overworked, underpaid, overwhelmed, can't make it to the gym in the month of December, need to move to sunny AZ mom; I had a hard time holding it together. Things that made me tear up today (before 7am):

Disclaimer: some of these are happy and others sad or discouraged (I'm multi-emotional like that).

1. In the kitchen I found this:

Not the mess on the table, although normally that would bother me.. My daughter had tied the rest of my treat bags so it was one less thing on the never-ending "To Do" list. *happy cry*

2. On my night stand I found this:

Again, not the mess, but the fact that I groggily ate tootsie rolls before falling asleep last night (and partly because I obviously missed one in the dark!) I don't want to eat junk (don't get me wrong, I always do eat junk food. Happily. But I haven't been making it to the gym lately so my body doesn't like me and the sweets don't help) especially at bedtime. Tootsie rolls aren't a bad way to cope, right? *fail cry*

3. Yes, that is my garbage and yes it is full, but the upset-ness is from the fact that those frozen burrito wrappers mean that's what my family ate for dinner (again) last night. Mom fail. (My definition of mom fail comes from my unrealistic expectation that I will be able to work full time and still do all of the things for my husband/kids that I was able to do as a stay at home mom.) *mom guilt cry*

4. Then as I'm running out the door (late) to try to catch my train, my son tells me we are out of milk... *mom guilt cry* again. How did I manage to still not make it to the store after meaning to for 3 days?! Yes, there was  the family Christmas Party in Ogden (about an hour away from my house) for which I had to pick up and drop off kids from/to my ex, Christmas Choir Concert  and the Santa Visit  but is that really any excuse?!

5. My response to the last one was,"Sorry, I suck. You guys will have to have eggs today and I'll go tonight and get some milk." To which my sweet daughter came over, gave me a big hug and said, "You don't suck mom." *happy cry again*

6. Just one last happy tear as my kids waved to me from the back door while I drove away. Love and miss them everyday!