Why Cry??

I am generally a crier anyway. Have been my whole life (at least as long as I can remember). I'm pretty sure it's in my blood since most of my siblings have the same...tendency. But today as an overworked, underpaid, overwhelmed, can't make it to the gym in the month of December, need to move to sunny AZ mom; I had a hard time holding it together. Things that made me tear up today (before 7am):

Disclaimer: some of these are happy and others sad or discouraged (I'm multi-emotional like that).

1. In the kitchen I found this:

Not the mess on the table, although normally that would bother me.. My daughter had tied the rest of my treat bags so it was one less thing on the never-ending "To Do" list. *happy cry*

2. On my night stand I found this:

Again, not the mess, but the fact that I groggily ate tootsie rolls before falling asleep last night (and partly because I obviously missed one in the dark!) I don't want to eat junk (don't get me wrong, I always do eat junk food. Happily. But I haven't been making it to the gym lately so my body doesn't like me and the sweets don't help) especially at bedtime. Tootsie rolls aren't a bad way to cope, right? *fail cry*

3. Yes, that is my garbage and yes it is full, but the upset-ness is from the fact that those frozen burrito wrappers mean that's what my family ate for dinner (again) last night. Mom fail. (My definition of mom fail comes from my unrealistic expectation that I will be able to work full time and still do all of the things for my husband/kids that I was able to do as a stay at home mom.) *mom guilt cry*

4. Then as I'm running out the door (late) to try to catch my train, my son tells me we are out of milk... *mom guilt cry* again. How did I manage to still not make it to the store after meaning to for 3 days?! Yes, there was  the family Christmas Party in Ogden (about an hour away from my house) for which I had to pick up and drop off kids from/to my ex, Christmas Choir Concert  and the Santa Visit  but is that really any excuse?!

5. My response to the last one was,"Sorry, I suck. You guys will have to have eggs today and I'll go tonight and get some milk." To which my sweet daughter came over, gave me a big hug and said, "You don't suck mom." *happy cry again*

6. Just one last happy tear as my kids waved to me from the back door while I drove away. Love and miss them everyday!